Over the Hill
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Turns out May's old eggs still work (Skye thinks Coulson came back with super sperm).


**I don't own Agents of SHIELD and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

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Melinda and Phil's mouths dropped open as soon as the words came out of Jemma's mouth. She hadn't wanted to pass out, but her world going dark had been out of her control. "What the fuck?" she sputtered.

"We can do an ultrasound if we find the equipment, but the blood test indicates you are definitely pregnant. Have you missed your period lately?"

Melinda nodded. "I've missed a lot of periods. I'm menopausal! How is this possible? My eggs are old as fuck. How the hell are they still working? I'm fifty fucking years old!"

Jemma stifled a laugh. "But you were still having periods, right? They were just irregular."

Melinda nodded while Phil shifted uncomfortably at all the period talk. She glared at him. "I'm in this position because of you so don't you fucking squirm, Philip Coulson."

He froze. "Sorry?"

She snorted. "Yeah, you better be. Simmons, what are the chances that there's something wrong with this baby? The pregnancy? The odds that I'll miscarry?" She had to know all the facts so she could make an informed decision.

"Melinda, you can't think so negatively!" Phil looked horrified even though he understood why she was thinking this way.

Jemma stared at them. "The odds are higher considering your age, but women have had healthy pregnancies and babies in their forties and fifties. You're not the oldest woman to get pregnant."

Melinda jumped off the table. "I'm going to go eat something now because I'm starving. Philip, come with me."

He cringed at the use of his full name – she was definitely pissed. "Sorry, Simmons. We'll be able to find out more at the Playground later, I'm assuming."

"Of course. We're landing soon?"

"We should be there in about an hour or so. Now, Philip!" Melinda bellowed.

"Sorry." They passed by Skye whispering soothing words to a sleeping Ward on the way to the kitchen as she, Fitz, and Trip watched a movie (on low volume so no one would wake him. Ward barely slept these days so any rest he got was well-needed).

"We are not to breathe a word of this to anyone until we know for sure that everything's okay." Melinda nibbled on the cracker in her hand and tried to focus on something else (she didn't succeed).

"Of course." Phil hesitated for a second before he voiced a thought that had been in his head ever since Jemma broke the news to them. "Do you want this baby, Melinda? I understand if you don't considering all the factors, but I just want to know what you're thinking."

She sighed and sat down on a chair. "I shouldn't want this baby – you know we never planned on having children – and I'm not happy about this pregnancy, but I'm excited. Does that even make any sense?" Her emotions kept bouncing all over the place and she wasn't sure if it was because she was pregnant or not. Fuck, she's pregnant. She and Phil created something that is half of both of them.

When they arrived at the Playground, Melinda marched Jemma straight to the medical room so she could perform an ultrasound. The others stared at them in confusion and worry. They hadn't noticed anything amiss, but that could mean that something was being hidden from them.

Melinda shivered when Jemma squeezed the cold gel on her stomach. "Sorry," she apologized.

"It's fine. Let's just get this over with." She wanted to know the worst as soon as possible so she could figure out what to do.

Jemma grinned at them when the baby appeared on screen. A few seconds later, a heartbeat echoed around the room. "Nothing looks wrong and you appear to be about thirteen weeks along. You honestly didn't notice something was up before?"

"Thirteen weeks already?" How had Melinda not realized she was knocked up prior to this? She was suddenly glad she hadn't felt like drinking in the past few months.

She nodded. "An amnio should probably be performed, but I recommend you go to an OB/GYN for that. But right now? You both seem perfectly healthy, and I'm pleased about it."

Tears filled Phil's eyes. "That's our baby, Mel."

She looked up at him and squeezed his hand. "Yeah it is." Melinda wasn't as emotional about this as he was but she was pretty close.

The two of them kept the news to themselves, and Melinda visited the OB/GYN about three days later. Except for Jemma, the rest of the team was confused about this grounding – they thought they needed to be taking down remaining Hydra cells (the most determined to do so was Ward, who felt so guilty about his betrayal that he tried to make it up to them any way he could). The next week, she went in for the amnio, and Melinda and Phil waited impatiently (she was a little terrified and couldn't sleep) for the results, which came in a few days later.

Melinda's OB/GYN smiled when they sat down at her desk. "Everything is perfectly healthy. You can stop worrying now."

Melinda was so elated she nearly started crying (fuck these hormones coursing through her body). "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. And would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

Melinda and Phil exchanged a look. "I think we'll keep this a surprise," he finally said. He wanted to know but keeping it a surprise until delivery seemed like more fun.

"I agree with that." Melinda thanked her doctor and then followed him back to the car. "We should probably tell the others now that we know."

"I can't wait to see the looks on their faces." He really hoped someone was drinking something so they spit it out. Just seemed like a hilarious action to see in real life.

She eyed him warily. "You're planning something aren't you?"

"… Maybe?"

"I don't like that pause." But she couldn't wait to shock the shit out of their family. She wanted to bathe in their shock.

When they got back, they sat their family down on the couch to break the news to them. "What's going on?" Fitz asked.

"Is everything okay?" Ward looked terrified, like he was expecting bad news.

Phil touched Melinda's shoulder and waited until he saw Skye drink from her water bottle. He smirked – now was the perfect opportunity. "Melinda and I are having a baby – she's pregnant."

Skye spit out the water, choked, and then squealed. "A baby? We're having a baby? Oh my God!" She bounced up and down and poor Ward looked a little sick next to her because of the motion.

"Congratulations," he sincerely told them. He didn't mention that he was glad this hadn't happened with them. May was a great friend but he didn't want to be tied to her forever in that way. Ward was pretty happy for them, though.

"This is unexpected! I never saw it coming!" Fitz said.

Melinda and Phil didn't buy it. "Simmons told you didn't she?"

He nodded. "Guilty as charged. But I've kept it a secret. I'm just surprised she didn't tell Skye."

"I had a very hard time not telling anybody," Jemma explained when their gazes turned her way. She shrugged.

"I figured it out," Trip explained when Phil asked why he didn't seem that shocked. He remembered being around his mom when she was pregnant with his younger sister, and May's symptoms seemed to mirror hers.

Skye joked, "Do you have super sperm because of TAHITI or something?" The others tried not to but they couldn't help but laugh after she said that. Phil and Melinda didn't want to laugh either but had to acknowledge that it had been pretty funny.

They all ordered pizza to celebrate the exciting news, but another symptom of pregnancy – exhaustion – kicked in, and Melinda headed to bed early. Phil followed her because he didn't want her to be alone. "You feeling okay?" he questioned.

She nodded. "I'm just tired all the time but that should hopefully fade away soon. I'm scared shitless, Phil," she admitted.

"I'm scared too. But we can handle this. And if we can't there's five other people who would move heaven and earth to help us, and you know it. This baby is going to loved."

Melinda rolled over to face the man she loved and then leaned over to kiss him. "I'm ready for this if you are."

"Same here." He couldn't wait to meet this baby they created and placed a hand on her swelling abdomen. "You're amazing, Melinda. And so are you, little one. I love you so much already."

She teared up. "Don't make me cry."

And the whole team supported the two of them when Phil and Melinda welcomed their child several months later (Ward and Trip were in charge of making sure he didn't tell dad jokes every time she had a contraction but they didn't always succeed). It hadn't always been an easy pregnancy but everything worked out for the best in the end.


End file.
